1. Ohh, that's a cute spider!
2. You're about to fart? Well come over here by me!
3. Nah, I don't want any chocolate chip cookies/chocolate cake/chocolate.
4. In response to a stranger's cat call: Oh, thank you! Let's go fuck then, shall we? This must happen for you all the time.
5. I'd rather not pay the sale price if that's okay.
6. Can I get those jeans in a size 2?
7. I love seafood. Especially giant crabs that look like alien spiders. Mmm!
8. I hate sleep so let's pull an all-nighter!
9. Let's throw a party and invite all the neighbors.
10. I would love to be on Fear Factor or The Bachelor.
11. That puppy is ugly.
12. I want to be friends with that girl who's talking loud and needs to be the center of attention.
13. This migraine feels awesome. I hope to have another one tomorrow.
14. I hate Twilight Zone marathons.
15. Harry Potter? I totally understand everything in those movies. Ask me anything.
16. Acne rules. I hope I have it forever.
17. I love filling out job applications and being ignored.
18. To my boy dog: I love taking 250 potty breaks with you when we go for walks.
19. Do you have a cigarette?
20. Let's get sushi....and salmonella.
21. I hate 80s music.
22. I have perfected the art of applying liquid eyeliner.
23. Stop lights? I hope I catch every single one.
24. Pinterest is so boring and uninspiring. I never find anything I like on there.
25. To the hairdresser: Make it look like a medieval page boy. And make the bangs extra curvy.
Haha, nice list! Though you might actually hear me say 4 or 5 of these;)
ReplyDeleteblueeyednightowl.blogspot.com/
This is hilarious, love it!
ReplyDeleteHahaha awesome
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha! Too funny! Great idea!
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Too hilarious!
ReplyDeleteGreat list. the TOP of my list would be:
ReplyDeleteStop by anytime you're in the neighborhood - I love unexpected drop ins!
lol too funny! Although I do love sushi.... :)
ReplyDelete#3 &4 are the best....
ReplyDeleteLove this! Hmmmm, for me: "Nothing will work out." (I'm super optimistic.) "Let's go somewhere crowded and filled with people!" (super homebody.) "I love seafood!" (barf, for the most part.) "I can pose like a pro." (I can't pose worth shit.) And so many more!
ReplyDeleteLol! Too funny. And I'm with you on some of these. Ok, a lot, but especially 3, 4, 9, 12, 19, and 20.
ReplyDeletehaha...I just found your blog, and this was probably the best first post to read!
ReplyDeleteI'm so there with you on most of these as well!
xo
Alex
Hahaha, love it! The "fart" one made me laugh out loud.
ReplyDeleteahahha! amazing! i'm laughing so hard. i'm perusing and out of comment mode for the night but had to stop by and say i loved this.
ReplyDeletebecause i'm out of comment mode, please take this smiley face instead of my normal signature : :D
i'm glad to have made a good first impression then! :)
ReplyDeleteLOL at the cute spider! That's one reason I am very glad I live in NZ, NO big or poisonous spiders live here!!! :D
ReplyDeleteI also laughed at the liquid eyeliner. Seriously...who in the world can actually apply that properly!? Not Holly, that's for sure! >.<
Oh my - I couldn't stop laughing! I think we are kindred spirits because apart from the Twilight Zone (which I have never seen - but that might be a cultural thing because I'm from Germany) I agree with every single one of them. The only one who is allowed to fart in my vicinity is my dog (and only because she can't understand why we don't like that - ha ha!)
ReplyDeletei'm glad to have made a good first impression then! :)
ReplyDelete